May 2013
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blein:
sO my friend’s dog died and she lives in new york city and so she had to take it to the vet by the subway and she put the dead dog in the suitcase on the subway and it was a pretty big dog and some dude saw that she was struggling with the suitcase so he asked if she needed help with it and he said do you mind me asking what’s in it and she didnt want to say a dead dog so shE SAID IT WAS...
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foreveralone-lyguy:
tomatolovers:
so my mom gave me all these ballons
my mom also wakes up at 4am half asleep to go to pee without turning the lights on
the cat cant even get in
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reginamas:
i just told my mom i died at birth and i’ve been a ghost this entire time just growing and manifesting into the daughter she’d lost
and she’s just like
well please go to the light because i am tired of your shit
sorryforpartybarackin:
*watches infomercial for 17 minutes before realizing its not a regular commercial*
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