April 2012
okay i’m done now. xD
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Dumbledore: Harry did you know your mum saved your life
Dumbledore: She DIED for you
Dumbledore: It saved you, HER LOVE, and she DIED FOR YOU only you and now your still alive
Dumbledore: That's why Voldemort can't touch-
James Potter: Hey I died for Harry too you kno-
Dumbledore: HARRY YOUR MOM DIED FOR YOU
James Potter: But I-
Dumbledore: Shut up James
James Potter: Voldemort killed me first-
Dumbledore: NOPE no it was Lily she's the reason he's still here
James Potter: But he's my son I loved him and Lily and I died for them bot-
Everyone in the Wizarding World: NO.
James: Alright, Evans?
Lily:
me: omg she's going to kiss him
James:
Lily:
me:
Lily: Fuck off, Potter.
me:
Lily:
James:
me:
Lily:
James:
me: That was awesome.
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gatiss:
when the teacher asks the class to raise our hands if we know the answer
and then my hand shoots up like fucking lightning
and hell yes i know the answer
but then the teacher calls on some other student
and they fucking get it wrong
AND INSTEAD OF CALLING ON ANYONE ELSE
the teacher just tells the whole class the answer
no i fucking knew that it was my time to shine
(also works in...
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April's Fool at The Burrow.
Molly: HURRY UP ARTHUR THE TIME HAS COME I'M GIVING BIRTH
Arthur: Very funny, Molly.
Molly: OH GOD I CAN FEEL IT... I GUESS I'M HAVING TWINS
Arthur: You're such a joker, Mollywobbles, now sit down.
Lily in 5th year: Fuck You Potter
Lily in 7th year: Fuck Me James
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i cybered on omegle today
You: hi
Stranger: hey
You: wanna cyber
Stranger: Depends are you a girl? ;)
You: ya
Stranger: And okay then, you start?
You: i come into ur bedroom
You: and ur sleeping
You: and i crawl under your blanket
Stranger: I'm still asleep
You: u feel me pulling down ur pants
You: and u wake up and smile
Stranger: I kiss you gently, still sleepy
You: then i smile and open the scissors around your dick and snap them closed
You: cutting off your penis
Stranger: wait
You: THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR CHEATING ON ME
Stranger: Then what...?
You: I HATE YOU
Stranger: I didn't cheat
You: you bleed to death in your bed
Stranger: i didn't cheat on you. lets restart ok
You: nobody ever knows what happened
You: i flee to mexico with your Mercedes
You: the end
Stranger: I have a mercedes?
You: not anymore faggot
Your conversation partner has disconnected.