bakerstreetsdoctor:

vbartilucci:

wejustkeepbiggering:

mickeyrenee:

Holy mother of interior design.. Give me.

I
WANT
THIS
BED

It’s a bed…with a ladder!

GIVE IT TO ME NOW OH MY GOD

“Actual conversations with my 2 year old daughter, as re-enacted by me and another full grown man - Episode 1”

hitlervevo:

sherwat:

chrissykilljoybitchtits:

inc-omparable:

im-fandoomed:

hitlervevo:

why the fuck cant we text the police

lets say there is a murderer in ur house and you’re hiding behind your sofa and you do have your phone with you but you can’t call the police because the murderer might hear you

Here in Canada you can

Here in England we just… scream and run

Here in Scotland we paint our faces and run towards the murderer

Here in Australia you are the murderer

i hate this site

letstalkaboutdisney:

b0oobs:

neverrlaand:

my motto

what’s a motto

nothing what’s a motto with you

mrsweasley:

jeg har ledd i førti år av denne her

bell-sprout:

one time this girl in my biology class got expelled for doing pot in the girl’s room, and my biology teacher said, “why was she messing around with that stuff?”

and this guy said “she does it to lose weight”

and my teacher just sat down and put her head down for a second before saying “it makes you hungry. it. makes. you. hungry.”

sunnybutte:

This was the last thing I saw before I died

neil-gaiman:

notches:

3 of my favourite people.

I love Lemony Snicket. I love my wife. I love them in very different ways.

No, that wasn’t what I meant at all.

la-meilleure-amie:

Everyone SAYS they want a fairytale wedding but when I show up and curse their firstborn suddenly I’m a jerk.

starksmash:

cosmo-sex-tips:

as she’s about to give you a handjob, yell “PULL THE LEVER, KRONK!”

WRONG LEVERRRRRR

skinnykate:

justonebreathatatime:

omfg that FACE

Too funny and horribly true not to reblog a million times